Sympathy & Funeral Flowers New Zealand

Sympathy flowers offer comfort and support during times of loss. In New Zealand, sending flowers for funerals, memorial services, or directly to bereaved families is a meaningful way to express condolences and show you care. Choosing appropriate sympathy flowers requires understanding traditional conventions, cultural considerations, and practical logistics. This guide helps you navigate sympathy flower selection with sensitivity and respect, while finding appropriate arrangements at fair prices during an already difficult time.

Appropriate Sympathy Flowers

White Lilies

White lilies are the most traditional sympathy flower, symbolizing the restored innocence of the soul. Their elegant blooms and soft fragrance create peaceful, respectful tributes. White Oriental lilies or Madonna lilies are standard for funeral arrangements. A sympathy lily bouquet costs $65-$110. Lilies are appropriate for all funeral contexts – religious or secular, traditional or contemporary. They're particularly common in Christian funeral traditions but widely accepted across cultures.

White & Cream Roses

White roses symbolize reverence, purity, and remembrance. Cream roses represent thoughtfulness and grace. Both are highly appropriate for sympathy arrangements. A dozen white roses costs $70-$100. Rose arrangements can be formal (perfect long-stemmed roses) or softer (garden-style mixed with greenery). White roses work for all relationships – family members, friends, colleagues. They're versatile and always appropriate.

Chrysanthemums

In many cultures, chrysanthemums are specifically funeral flowers symbolizing death and mourning. In NZ, white or yellow chrysanthemums are common in sympathy arrangements. They're long-lasting, affordable ($60-$85 for a bouquet), and traditionally appropriate. Chrysanthemums mix well with other flowers in wreaths and standing sprays. They're particularly common in Asian funeral traditions.

Carnations

White carnations symbolize pure love and innocence. Pink carnations represent remembrance. They're affordable, long-lasting, and appropriate for sympathy arrangements. Carnations often feature in mixed bouquets, wreaths, and casket sprays because they hold up well and provide volume at moderate cost ($55-$85 for arrangements). They're appropriate when you want to send something respectful but have budget constraints.

Mixed White & Pastel Arrangements

Mixed sympathy bouquets combine lilies, roses, carnations, and seasonal flowers in white, cream, soft pink, and pale yellow. These arrangements offer variety while maintaining appropriate tone. Prices range $75-$130 depending on size. Mixed arrangements suit most funeral contexts and express condolences without being overly formal or stark.

Types of Sympathy Arrangements

Sympathy Bouquets ($60-$120)

Standard bouquets for delivery to family homes or workplaces. These are hand-tied or vase arrangements expressing condolences. Appropriate when you want to comfort bereaved family but aren't attending the funeral. Include thoughtful message card. Most common size is medium ($75-$95).

Funeral Wreaths ($100-$200)

Circular wreaths symbolizing eternal life. These are displayed at funeral services, often on stands near the casket. Wreaths range from simple ($100-$130) to elaborate ($150-$200) depending on size and flower density. Common for close family members to send. Include a sash or card with your name and relationship.

Standing Sprays ($120-$250)

Large arrangements on stands displayed at funeral services. They create impressive tributes typically sent by family members, close friends, or organizations. Standing sprays make statements of significant loss and deep respect. Sizes range from standard ($120-$160) to premium ($180-$250). Coordinate with funeral director for delivery and placement.

Casket Sprays ($150-$400)

Large arrangements placed directly on top of the casket. These are usually sent by immediate family (spouse, children, parents) or organized by the family collectively. Full casket sprays ($250-$400) cover the entire casket length. Half sprays ($150-$250) cover half, allowing for multiple arrangements or open casket viewings. Coordinate with funeral director and family before ordering.

Sympathy Plants ($50-$120)

Potted plants offer lasting tributes. Peace lilies ($50-$85) are most common sympathy plants, symbolizing peace and rebirth. Orchids ($70-$120) provide elegant, long-lasting condolences. Plants are appropriate for sending to family homes where they'll provide months of comfort. Some people prefer plants over cut flowers as they represent continuing life.

Sympathy Flower Etiquette

When to Send Sympathy Flowers

Immediately upon hearing of death: Send to family home to provide immediate comfort
For funeral service: Order 2-3 days before funeral, coordinate delivery with funeral home
After funeral: Flowers sent 1-2 weeks after funeral show continuing support when initial support wanes
Memorial services: Order for delivery on the memorial date

Where to Send Sympathy Flowers

Family home: Most common for friends and colleagues expressing condolences
Funeral home: For display at service, coordinate timing with funeral director
Church or venue: For service displays, confirm delivery acceptance
Workplace: Sometimes appropriate for deceased's workplace or bereaved person's workplace
Cemetery: Some people prefer flowers delivered to graveside after service

Sympathy Card Messages

Keep messages brief, sincere, and appropriate. Good examples:

• "With deepest sympathy and thinking of you during this difficult time"
• "In loving memory of [name]. Our thoughts are with you and your family"
• "May beautiful memories bring you comfort. With heartfelt condolences"
• "Remembering [name] with love and holding you in our thoughts"
• "With sympathy and friendship during this time of loss"

Avoid: Religious references if you're unsure of beliefs, clichés like "they're in a better place," or making it about your own grief.

Cultural Considerations

Maori Tangi (Funeral)

Maori tangihanga are multi-day ceremonies with specific protocols. Flowers are appropriate but koha (monetary gift) or food contributions are also common. White flowers are most appropriate. If unsure, ask a family member or respect cultural advisor. Delivery to marae should be coordinated with family or marae kaumatua (elders). Traditional floral wreaths are welcome.

Asian Funerals

Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and other Asian funeral traditions have specific flower customs. White and yellow flowers are most appropriate. Avoid red flowers (celebratory color). Chrysanthemums are traditional Asian funeral flowers. Wreaths and standing sprays are common. Some Buddhist traditions prefer donations to charity rather than flowers – check with family.

Pacific Island Funerals

Samoan, Tongan, Fijian, and other Pacific funerals often feature elaborate floral tributes. Large arrangements, leis, and garlands are common. Bright colors may be more acceptable than in European traditions, though white remains most common. Coordinate with family as customs vary between islands and denominations.

Jewish Funerals

Traditional Jewish custom discourages flowers at funerals, preferring donations to charity instead. However, Reform and secular Jewish families may accept flowers. When in doubt, make a charitable donation in the deceased's name rather than sending flowers. If family explicitly welcomes flowers, simple white arrangements are appropriate.

Sympathy Flower Price Comparison

Practical Considerations

Funeral Home Delivery

Most florists have relationships with local funeral homes and know delivery protocols. Provide the funeral home name, deceased person's name, and service date/time. Florists typically deliver 2-4 hours before service start. Confirm funeral home acceptance – some have restricted delivery windows. Include clear card information identifying who sent the flowers.

Group Orders

Colleagues or friend groups often pool money for significant arrangement. Designate one person to order and collect contributions. This allows for impressive tribute (standing spray or large wreath) that individuals couldn't afford alone. Include "From the team at [company/group]" on card. Budget $20-30 per contributor for meaningful group arrangement.

What Happens to Funeral Flowers After Service

Families often take some flowers home or to cemetery. Hospitals, rest homes, and charities sometimes receive donated funeral flowers. Some funeral homes compost flowers. If you want flowers to remain with deceased, casket spray stays with casket through burial or cremation. Standing sprays and wreaths typically go to family unless otherwise specified.

When Not to Send Flowers

• When family requests donations instead: Respect family wishes, donate to nominated charity
• When you're very close to deceased: Your presence and practical support matter more than flowers
• Cultural reasons: Some traditions discourage flowers, research or ask
• Budget constraints: Heartfelt card and your presence are more valuable than obligation flowers
• Environmental funerals: Some eco-funerals discourage cut flowers, prefer living plants or trees